Superstar Baby!

Ok, so I think my baby has been swapped in the night, I mean she is not behaving at all like she used to...... SHE IS SLEEPING!!! Now there will be people rolling their eyes reading this saying, I told you so!
This change has come about since we took her off the boobage at night, I miss nothing about being frequently woken,  but the need is always nice, I feel loved.   There has been no night feeds for 20 days and daily feeds dwindling. The crux of it being I am not here at night so Daddy puts Iris to bed usually when I am at work. we are seeing 6 hours as a norm from 12-6 am usually, after 13 month's of disasterous sleep 6 is amazing.  
There have been a few changes Iris has adapted well to in the past two weeks. Nothing amazes me more than her resilience to adapt and adapt quick.
We went to Bristol for the weekend to visit family, it was staying in a house with Strangers to Iris, to be honest I thought Iris would be awful but she surprised us again! She slept terribly the 1st night as we arrived at 10.45pm but the next two nights over 8 hours straight! Woo hoo!! I think from having 1 nap and pure exhaustion she slept better.  She adapted to being in a strange house really well and loved seeing Aunty Sally and Uncle Andy by the time we left. 

We have gone down to only feeding at night and whilst I thought it was going to be a disaster, it's been successful. Yes she still wakes at night but no where near as much. My only slight issue.... When she wakes at like 6, I used to be able coax her back to sleep with a bit of boobie but now I'm not feeding her in the bedroom, I have to get up! 

I'm hoping this will improve. I'm so proud of how much she has adapted in the past few weeks and hopefully this is a sign of things to come :-)

The stresses of being a night shift Mummy

I thought I had this night shift Malarky all sorted but today is proving to be hard work. I got home on Tuesday morning at 1 am, I went to sleep in the spare room as Iris was being good for Daddy and slept till 6.  Daddy got me up and then Iris woke at 6.30. I had one nap in the afternoon for an hour and then at 8 pm left for work. Iris slept really well sleeping from 7.30- 2.30 then till 5.30 till 7! Wish she would do this when I'm about.....anyway! I finished at 6.30am got on the 7.08 train back to Brighton and got on the connection. First hurdle of the day my connection does not go near my house so I have to walk 1.2 miles fine usually but I'm pretty tired by now! 

When I arrive home Iris is so pleased to see me and she wants Boobie of course as she has not had it for about 14 hours. My mum is on duty caring for her from 7. I've not long been in the door when she falls off the sofa! She then clings to me and my mum is trying to get her ready to go out so I can sleep. I finally get to rest at 9.45 and my mum comes back at 12.15 

I say to My mum has she has a sleep? 'No' she wouldn't go. Now Iris has nursery from 1 and because she is the life and soul of the social party going to sleep at nursery usually doesn't happen. I see that she has become a clingy grumpy mess and start to put her in the high chair for lunch when my mum says 'I don't think she will be hungry she has had quite a few chocolate buttons'. Now I'm thinking what am I going to do with her, in my head it was simple she was going to nursery for 1 and I was sleeping until 5 and then picking her up! 

I give Iris some proper food which, she does eat and then take her up stairs to change her nappy where she protests and screams. I find the biggest pooh explosionin her nappy into her vest and know now that is why she wasn't sleeping, I wouldn't be either! 

I eventually get her down at 1, I maybe have 30 minutes sleep before she wakes again at 2.15 and then it's off to nursery we go. By the time I get back it's almost 3, I have lunch as I'm hungry and try to sleep again by 4 I'm still wide awake wondering how today had gone so badly wrong when I had my mum and nursery booked! Finally my alarm Goes off at 5 no more resting for me as I collect Iris make her dinner, make us dinner, bath her and put her to bed ( well try). 

Since I refuse to feed her at night now she won't go down for me very easily and constantly plays up- it's majorly frustrating and it's like she knows that it annoys me and it's pay back for no Boobie. I even got her shaking her head from side to side tonight in some frenzy and I'm looking at her thinking does ADHD start this young?! 

Daddy comes and saves the day at 7.15 when I've shouted at her and had enough of her hyperactivity and need to get ready for work. 

Now here I am on the train again on my way to work with an even busier day on the cards tomorrow as Iris is at my Mum and Dads and I Have a hair appointment. I only hope my night tonight is not too busy but that is extremely unlikely! 

Snatched away from me

Should have known that a one off good nights sleep doesn't mean she will now spontaneously start sleeping 9 hours without waking! Last night every 2 hours awake and wanting to claw my chest or clamber on me- I thought I was dreaming it at first. I think this kind of torture is worse give me nine hours then nothing! It's been two days since I started writing this and she did a six hour stretch the night after 12-6 I think, find it hard to comprehend what's going on at silly o clock and having to look at the time doesn't come into it. Last night however, back to waking all the time and wanting me to hold her, she would not sleep when I put her down and all she wants to do is play with my nipple!?!!! 

As much as I love her,  this really is very annoying and I'm not sure what to do about it. I think it's all to do with it being a comfort but my boob is now a plaything. Whilst Breast feeding is something I have loved and found hard at times the nipple business I am not enjoying its painful and annoying. I think I've come along way since not feeding her now for 11 nights but backwards when she will Play with my nipple or try to get her hand down my top or go mad if I don't let her. I've got to nip (like my pun there) this in the 

bud! I think Iris would prefer to still be feeding lots but it's just not possible now with working. I feel she is growing up so fast in some respects but in others she is still such a baby. My little girl still needs me I hope sniff sniff! X

Good for Daddy

I've embarked on 4 nights of work this week, the last being Sunday.  In that time my husband has been the one to put her to bed. In the past she has majorly played up for him (when I have been at home) and I've had to take over in order to get her down.... This weekend a whole new story.

My little girl is understanding a little more each day and getting a little bit more grown up, sniff. According to Daddy She now crawls into her co sleeper and actually stays there and Daddy lays down with her and she may have a minutes cry then she is off to sleep! 

Blimey.... Why can't she just stay sleeping now? then our sleep issues are over?! Friday night a 6, yes 6 hour stretch of sleep for Daddy. I try not to get jealous of these stretches of sleep as I get 1.5 or 3 hours maximum. I think the boob is too tempting and definitely to blame but it's not available anymore, so hopefully she may stop waking to have it! 

Only time will tell. 

This week she has also gone to sleep for Grandma on the sofa when told to, I find this amazing as she usually fights sleep like no body's business.  I put Iris to bed Monday night after 4 nights in a row of Daddy putting her to bed and no Boobie.  It took me 15 minutes no Boobie a few tears but then on the co sleeper and off to sleep I couldn't quite believe it and felt smug that it was so 'easy'! Oh how wrong can I be? 

They love to lure you in under a false sense of security and make you believe you actually do have a knack at being a mother and then BAM.,,,,, wake at 10.30 screaming and basically in a tantrum because no Boobie was on offer for what seemed like hours! 

I'm at the point of exhaustion after the past 4 nights of no sleep, so I am in no mood for silly buggers and definitely not in any position for screaming babies trying to claw my boobies. I eventually get her off at some ungodly hour with no boob and she wakes again at 2.30. I feel like crying but, she doesn't cry for long and she is off to sleep again. At 4.30 the fun and games, begin well that's what Iris thought but for me I woke feeling like I had been run over and I wasn't up for playing! I pretty much know I have a battle on my hands when she wakes and starts talking. I find it amazing she can go from unconscious to awake in about  2 seconds flat. I tried getting her back to sleep but of course there is no Boobie on offer - so water and white noise is all she has. She tosses and turns and gives me hope she has fallen asleep, then just wakes right back up again. All I can say now is Daddy to the rescue! 

It's all about the boob!

I had my first full night shift at work last week and my first full night away from Iris. In my head I thought she will be dreadful for Daddy come 4am when she tosses and turns for me on and off the boob she will do this for him, (obviously not on and off his boob) he will have a terrible night. 

Oh how wrong can I be? ......

She is put down on the co sleeper ( the bit she won't sleep on for me) by daddy at 7.30 I leave for work at 8. FIVE AND A HALF HOURS LATER SHE WAKES!!!!!!!! 1am that's right, 1 flaming am she wakes for Daddy. I was elated and gutted all in an instant. It doesn't stop there as she then does till 2.30-4.30 then up at 6.15. If you had given that night to me, I would have thought I had won the jackpot! As it happens as soon as I'm home here again for a night she wakes all the frigging time, this is getting me down. I should get it in my head now it's all about the Boobie and her frequency may diminish when it ends. I'm thinking about doing it now but definitely sure for next weekend as I'm working 4 nights in a row what can possibly go wrong?!

It is sad for me to think that the one thing I have been doing since she was Born is possibly the one thing that is making her sleep terrible. After last night being so frigging awful for sleep or lack of it. I swear someone was laughing at my expense last night. Iris has a cold and cough and so I was trying to get her to sleep propped up so she could breathe. I would manage this for about twenty minutes then she would cough and wake herself up and cry and move towards me. I would hold her try and get her back to sleep whilst sitting up and put her down she would wake again. By 3 am I hadn't slept and was getting really annoyed and was trying everything for her to stay asleep a little longer. I'm on the Internet trying to stay awake whilst Iris sleeps in my arms. At 5, I'm close to breaking point as I think she is asleep put her down and she wakes AGAIN AAGGGHHH! I give her some medicine as she is pulling her ears and she eventually drops off around 5.25. I settle down to get some sleep then I hear this beep. Listening as I'm not sure what it is I hear it again then again. Then I realize it's the fire alarm battery and it goes off every 40 seconds sigh. To top it off Daddy's alarm then goes off at 6.15 and Iris is up full of beans at 7. To say I was exhausted would be true. For the first time ever I put the TV on in our bedroom and put the side of the co sleeper on and let Iris watch a bit of cbeebies whilst I laid with my eyes shut for ten more minutes. I had to laugh as Iris leant through the bars and  pokes me in the face and then gets her sippy cup and bashes it against the railings until I get up! 

Daddy is putting her to bed tonight. I am sleeping away from the co sleeper 

and hope that it's no way near as bad and daddy can deal with the wake ups. I deserve a night off!