The stresses of being a night shift Mummy

I thought I had this night shift Malarky all sorted but today is proving to be hard work. I got home on Tuesday morning at 1 am, I went to sleep in the spare room as Iris was being good for Daddy and slept till 6.  Daddy got me up and then Iris woke at 6.30. I had one nap in the afternoon for an hour and then at 8 pm left for work. Iris slept really well sleeping from 7.30- 2.30 then till 5.30 till 7! Wish she would do this when I'm about.....anyway! I finished at 6.30am got on the 7.08 train back to Brighton and got on the connection. First hurdle of the day my connection does not go near my house so I have to walk 1.2 miles fine usually but I'm pretty tired by now! 

When I arrive home Iris is so pleased to see me and she wants Boobie of course as she has not had it for about 14 hours. My mum is on duty caring for her from 7. I've not long been in the door when she falls off the sofa! She then clings to me and my mum is trying to get her ready to go out so I can sleep. I finally get to rest at 9.45 and my mum comes back at 12.15 

I say to My mum has she has a sleep? 'No' she wouldn't go. Now Iris has nursery from 1 and because she is the life and soul of the social party going to sleep at nursery usually doesn't happen. I see that she has become a clingy grumpy mess and start to put her in the high chair for lunch when my mum says 'I don't think she will be hungry she has had quite a few chocolate buttons'. Now I'm thinking what am I going to do with her, in my head it was simple she was going to nursery for 1 and I was sleeping until 5 and then picking her up! 

I give Iris some proper food which, she does eat and then take her up stairs to change her nappy where she protests and screams. I find the biggest pooh explosionin her nappy into her vest and know now that is why she wasn't sleeping, I wouldn't be either! 

I eventually get her down at 1, I maybe have 30 minutes sleep before she wakes again at 2.15 and then it's off to nursery we go. By the time I get back it's almost 3, I have lunch as I'm hungry and try to sleep again by 4 I'm still wide awake wondering how today had gone so badly wrong when I had my mum and nursery booked! Finally my alarm Goes off at 5 no more resting for me as I collect Iris make her dinner, make us dinner, bath her and put her to bed ( well try). 

Since I refuse to feed her at night now she won't go down for me very easily and constantly plays up- it's majorly frustrating and it's like she knows that it annoys me and it's pay back for no Boobie. I even got her shaking her head from side to side tonight in some frenzy and I'm looking at her thinking does ADHD start this young?! 

Daddy comes and saves the day at 7.15 when I've shouted at her and had enough of her hyperactivity and need to get ready for work. 

Now here I am on the train again on my way to work with an even busier day on the cards tomorrow as Iris is at my Mum and Dads and I Have a hair appointment. I only hope my night tonight is not too busy but that is extremely unlikely! 

It's Saturday night 9.30 and I'm in bed

I'm feeling like its ground hog day and I'm getting cabin fever. Even at the weekend nothing changes, I'm seriously bored now. 

I never go anywhere or do anything mainly because I can't and I'm always exhausted, it's starting to wear now. 

Today, I got excited over an App released by a London hospital on sleep disorders, thinking they might be able to help. I have to input data and keep a sleep diary for so many nights before they can give me the low down on her sleep. 

I started the App at 7.15, 7.28 she falls asleep...7.35 she wakes up the App say's Short sleep cycle- you don't say! 

I lost my patience after her third wake up and restless tossing and turning, I told her I was going, saying 'night night' then she started crying. This part of the night drives me bonkers. She's exhausted rubbing her eyes, she is grumpy and has already been asleep, so why can't she just go to sleep?!!!!!! Aaaaggghh I will never understand it. 

I gave her some Bonjella and teething powders and tried to get her back down to no avail. The only thing she really wants is the Boob! Within seconds she is back to behaving and sleeping like a baby.  I'm annoyed as I am trying to wean her off of it, but blatantly she still needs it so I'm Not going to deprive

 her. Since then she has woken again, again inconsolable. She barely had an hour before more boob and asleep on me down stairs as another night in front of the TV with my husband is eliminated. So now we are all in bed at 9.30 on a weekend and I'm waiting for her to wake. She is asleep on the co sleeper and I'm wide awake writing this blog....it's only a matter of time before another wake up. When will this torture end?! 

Things don't go to plan when.....

The whole being back at work thing is new for us a family and Iris is adjusting to these changes well or so I thought. 

I arrived home last night at 12.30 trying to be as quiet as a mouse as I come in the front door. I can't hear anything so feel pleased that I may be able to get into bed and sleep before she wakes up. To my horror when I go upstairs not only is she awake she is lying in my spot on the bed. She may only be tiny but there is no room for me as she spreads out like a star fish and the glimmer of hope about a little uninterrupted sleep diminishes in a second .....and then she begins to CRY!!!!! I almost started with her as my neck hurt and I just wanted to lie down. Oh well,  I was very pleased to see her and gave her a big kiss. Of course she is not interested in kisses just boobie and pulls at my top and so it begins......

She was on the dam thing all night -yep she glugged her way through one moved over to the other and then stayed permanently attached and every time I tried to move her off there were tears. By 4.30, I wanted to cry having been awake and not slept! Iris didn't want white noise or a dummy or anything, nope just me. I understand it's  because she has missed me during the day but all I wanted was a little kip! 

My morning didn't get much better as we got up at 7. There I am desperately trying to have a few more minutes shut eye when my phone gets dropped on my face right on my chin. It bloody hurt I won't lie and then I'm awake and pretty grumpy until I see her beautiful face and that cheeky grin. We get up and have breakfast and in my head I'm thinking I will wear her out and we will be back in bed by 9.30 having a lovely long nap like yesterday. I couldn't be more wrong. Iris would not nap she wanted to play no matter how many times I put her on the boob or the White noise up, I closed my eyes just dropping off and bam she would just get up!!! It drove me bonkers and is a form Of mental torture when your tired. I lost my temper and shouted and got up leaving her in her cot for a few minutes not knowing what to do. On my fifth attempt I think and about 40 minutes later she finally goes to sleep and I drift off too waking 20 min later. I think I will take her off the boob now and we can have another 45 minutes and she instantly wakes up hysterical. Could I get her back to sleep? No. Was she a miserable crying mess from then on and wouldn't let me put her down?Yes. Was she tired- of course she was! This kind of behaviour just sends me over the edge when I'm exhausted and I start to go a bit bonkers. She spent the last 30 minutes with me crying and then I left for work and Aunty Jane had her for an hour before going to nursery. 

Good reports from Nursery today..... Guess what!?! She slept for them!