Bank holiday weekend Blues

The Bank Holiday weekend is here but it feels like any other day to me. I'm starting to get a bit of cabin fever as I spend most of the weekend and my life in my bedroom either asleep or trying to get to sleep or trying to get Iris to sleep. I never thought I would get annoyed by this word, I never thought this word would take over my life, but it has and I wish it hadn't. 

Before having Iris, I was hardcore when it came to no sleep as my job was unpredictable and I worked a lot of hours. Sleep was second to my job and I coped fine with it, regularly doing 20 hour shifts with 4 hours sleep.

 My life has changed massively. Even when I was pregnant, I spent the 9 months feeling exhausted but towards the end, hardly sleeping because I was so anxious, nowadays I spend night after night being woken after 25 minutes, 1 hour, 3 hours sleep. it's so unpredictable it's a form Of torture. I think I would deal better with having none, than just drifting off and being woken for the umpteenth time.  My baby could wake me a hundred times a night however and I would still love her and be thankful for every day she is here. 

I'm currently filling out that Dr Kids Sleep App the one done by a London Hospital. I don't know what I was expecting really a magic cure, a name of a dysfunction to label my child's sleep or someone to tell me she is normal. At the moment it's highlighting the obvious to me, Iris average sleep 6.5 hours, Iris should be sleeping 10-15! What am I going to do about it? Cry?  get depressed? No, I'm going to read every article and book and speak to as many people as I can on sleep and try and get her out of this. I do believe it's a phase and she can be 'trained' when she is ready to go to sleep and wake not needing mummy but she isn't ready yet. Why should I expect her to be she is not even a year old. 

I'm sure amongst my friends there will be a few eyebrows raised that I am writing such a blog. It's not until you are In this situation that you realize just how important sleep is to just about everything. I try not to talk about it with people now as it bores the pants off of them and me. I always see it as a negative when infact a negative would be being born with a disability or disease. It should just be Iris is Iris, yes she doesn't sleep well but the love she has in her heart could fill a room and I'm the luckiest mum in the world to have her ❤️❤️❤️ xxx 

This working malarkey will take time to adjust!

Well the Easter weekend is here and it is nice to see my husband for a few days, as I feel we are like ships that pass in the night. This week has been hard, I won't lie  and a challenge. It's all new the going out to work as well as being a mummy. I feel like I'm still a full time mum even though I work part time because no one does my job when I'm not there. There is still washing and organizing to be done, though the organizing part I'm rubbish at.  I've had two migraines this week through lack of sleep and it is truly awful when you head hurts so much you can't open your eyes, but you have to as you have a lively baby in your care. 

Iris has been very clingy and crying when I barely move, but she was good at nursery this week going to sleep for them. At night on Thursday night she was a challenge, as she barely slept and when she did she wanted me to either hold her or have boobie, I was exhausted hence the migraines.  She is in her leap at the mo which has never helped her sleep. 

I'm slowly running out of optimism and ideas on how to get her to sleep better and for the first time I feel a bit depressed about it all. 

There came a little hope reading about a new website coming called the 'The Tiny Dreams Project' who support sleep deprived parents on more gentler natural ways to get a baby to sleep. Hooray!  exactly what I wanted to do with my Facebook page.